Tuesday, November 28

Creating Loafing's worst first-date songs

Creative Loafing has published a list of the worst songs to play on a first date. Here are their selections:

1) "Gold Digger" by Kanye West: Bad for both parties. If the guy plays it, he's telling you he's cheap; if the girl plays it, she's the subject of the song.

2) "Ain't No Fun (If the Homies Can't Have None)" by Snoop Dogg: I know it all depends on the girl, but usually, suggesting a gang bang isn't the right way to get the evening started.

3) "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails: "I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside." These are second-date lyrics at best.

4) "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy: Unless you're dating a self-loathing masochist, this song probably won't work.

5) "Let's Get Married" by Jagged Edge: Politely ask your date to pull the car over, get out and RUN!


I'd like to add this Ween song to the list:

Ween - Touch My Tooter [live 8-1-2006] (NSFW)

Really though, just leave the Ween at home. It's probably for the best.

Have any further suggestions?

8 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

I'm thinking that "Touch Me, I'm Sick" would be right out, too!

3:47 PM

 
Blogger Rich said...

Ah, Mudhoney. I had to Google that one. I suppose Henry Rollins doing "Liar" would be in that mold too.

Lyrics . A sample:

yeah I'm a liar
I'll tear your mind out
I'll burn your soul

3:53 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Every Breath You Take." Or any song of the stalker genre :D --z.h.

5:40 PM

 
Anonymous atlmalcontent said...

You stand corrected! There is never any occasion for which Ween isn't appropriate.

5:50 PM

 
Blogger Rich said...

I dunno... I'll still keep "LMLYP" to myself in most circumstances. I guess you could always bust out the "Roses are Free" though.

6:42 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leave the Ween at home? Are you kidding? I know that on a first date, I want to hear, "so get on your knees you big booty bitch, start suckin.'" That's right.

12:01 PM

 
Blogger Rich said...

TMI.

;-)

12:31 PM

 
Anonymous atlmalcontent said...

Don't call your mother - don't call your priest
don't call your doctor - call the police
you bring the razor blade - I'll bring the speed
Take off your coat - it's gonna be a long night

Ah, the romance!

10:08 PM

 

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