Tuesday, November 28

Creating Loafing's worst first-date songs

Creative Loafing has published a list of the worst songs to play on a first date. Here are their selections:

1) "Gold Digger" by Kanye West: Bad for both parties. If the guy plays it, he's telling you he's cheap; if the girl plays it, she's the subject of the song.

2) "Ain't No Fun (If the Homies Can't Have None)" by Snoop Dogg: I know it all depends on the girl, but usually, suggesting a gang bang isn't the right way to get the evening started.

3) "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails: "I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside." These are second-date lyrics at best.

4) "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy: Unless you're dating a self-loathing masochist, this song probably won't work.

5) "Let's Get Married" by Jagged Edge: Politely ask your date to pull the car over, get out and RUN!

I'd like to add this Ween song to the list:

Ween - Touch My Tooter [live 8-1-2006] (NSFW)

Really though, just leave the Ween at home. It's probably for the best.

Have any further suggestions?


Blogger Chris said...

I'm thinking that "Touch Me, I'm Sick" would be right out, too!

3:47 PM

Blogger Rich said...

Ah, Mudhoney. I had to Google that one. I suppose Henry Rollins doing "Liar" would be in that mold too.

Lyrics . A sample:

yeah I'm a liar
I'll tear your mind out
I'll burn your soul

3:53 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Every Breath You Take." Or any song of the stalker genre :D --z.h.

5:40 PM

Anonymous atlmalcontent said...

You stand corrected! There is never any occasion for which Ween isn't appropriate.

5:50 PM

Blogger Rich said...

I dunno... I'll still keep "LMLYP" to myself in most circumstances. I guess you could always bust out the "Roses are Free" though.

6:42 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leave the Ween at home? Are you kidding? I know that on a first date, I want to hear, "so get on your knees you big booty bitch, start suckin.'" That's right.

12:01 PM

Blogger Rich said...



12:31 PM

Anonymous atlmalcontent said...

Don't call your mother - don't call your priest
don't call your doctor - call the police
you bring the razor blade - I'll bring the speed
Take off your coat - it's gonna be a long night

Ah, the romance!

10:08 PM


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